Intentions, Not Resolutions: A Kinder Way to Start the New Year
Every January, we’re flooded with messages about becoming “better.”
New year, new goals, new habits, new you. But beneath that motivation, many people quietly feel pressure, guilt, or disappointment when the excitement fades and life feels the same.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and it might be time to rethink the way you approach change.
Why Resolutions Often Don’t Last
Resolutions tend to be outcome-focused: lose weight, save money, stop procrastinating.
They often come from a place of self-criticism rather than self-understanding, and when we inevitably fall short, we see it as failure rather than feedback.
Psychologically, that “all-or-nothing” mindset can be discouraging. Real, lasting change comes from connection—to your values, your emotional needs, and your reasons for wanting to grow.
The Power of Setting Intentions
Intentions shift the focus from fixing yourself to understanding yourself.
They’re less about achieving and more about aligning—with what truly matters to you.
A resolution might say, “I’ll meditate every morning.”
An intention says, “I want to create more calm and presence in my mornings.”
That subtle shift encourages flexibility, compassion, and curiosity—qualities that promote emotional resilience.
How to Set Meaningful Intentions for Your Mental Health
Reflect Before You Plan
Take time to notice what you’re feeling—not just what you think you “should” do. What energized you last year? What drained you?Anchor Your Intentions in Values
Instead of chasing goals that others expect of you, identify your own core values: connection, balance, creativity, kindness, honesty. Your intentions can flow from those.Focus on Feelings, Not Outcomes
Ask yourself, How do I want to feel this year? Peaceful? Confident? Grounded? Let those feelings guide your daily choices.Allow for Imperfection
Intentions invite self-compassion. You’re allowed to stumble, rest, and recalibrate. Growth is rarely linear—and that’s okay.Seek Support if Needed
A counsellor can help you clarify what matters most, identify emotional barriers, and create realistic, nurturing ways to support your goals.
Bringing Intention Into Daily Life
Small moments of awareness add up. You might:
Pause before saying “yes” to something that feels overwhelming.
Take a mindful breath before starting your day.
Replace self-criticism with curiosity when you struggle.
Each of these actions strengthens your connection to yourself—and that’s what meaningful growth is really about.
Starting the Year with Support
If you find that January brings pressure, anxiety, or a sense of not measuring up, therapy can be a grounding space to slow down and reconnect.
At our Coquitlam counselling practice, we help individuals and couples explore what truly matters, build self-compassion, and create goals that feel sustainable and kind.
This year, you don’t need to reinvent yourself—you just need to come home to yourself.