Mental Health & Wellness Kristen Holbrook Mental Health & Wellness Kristen Holbrook

What is Anxiety and How do I Manage it?

Anxiety is a natural response to stress, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can interfere with daily life. This post explores what anxiety is, common symptoms, and evidence-based strategies to help manage it.

We all experience anxiety from time to time. It's a normal and necessary part of being human. Anxiety consists of feelings of fear, physical symptoms in the body, and worrisome thoughts. While often uncomfortable, it’s actually a natural survival mechanism—an evolutionary response designed to keep us safe. Anxiety alerts us to potential danger or threat by activating the body’s “fight or flight” response system.

Understanding the Fight-or-Flight Response

When we encounter a real or perceived danger, our body’s nervous system shifts into high alert. This “fight or flight” response triggers physiological changes such as a racing heart, tense muscles, and quickened breathing. During this time, the primitive part of our brain takes over, while the logical, thinking part of the brain temporarily shuts down. This shift has a survival purpose—by reacting quickly, we increase our chances of escaping danger. Once the threat passes, our body is meant to return to a calm, regulated state where rational thinking resumes.

When Anxiety Becomes Unhelpful

Although anxiety is helpful in short bursts, it can become problematic when it lingers or intensifies. If anxiety causes ongoing fear, excessive worry, intrusive thoughts, avoidance of important activities, or interferes with work, relationships, or everyday life, it may no longer be serving you. Chronic anxiety can leave the body stuck in a heightened state of stress, making it difficult to relax, think clearly, or feel emotionally safe.

Managing Anxiety: Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours

Anxiety affects how we think, feel, behave, and how our body responds. The good news is that these same areas can also be targeted for relief. By becoming aware of how anxiety is showing up, you can begin to take action and shift your experience.

One effective strategy is using grounding techniques to calm the body. When you notice yourself becoming anxious or panicked, grounding exercises like deep breathing or focusing on your senses can help regulate your nervous system. As your body begins to settle, your thinking brain comes back online. This allows you to challenge irrational or fear-based thoughts and assess the situation more realistically.

You can also shift anxiety by making behavioural changes. Try switching your environment, talking to a trusted friend, or doing something nurturing for yourself. These small actions can have a big impact on your emotional state.

Identify Triggers and Break the Cycle

Managing anxiety also involves identifying what’s triggering it. Understanding your personal patterns—such as certain environments, situations, or thoughts—can give you insight into how anxiety is being maintained. For example, if avoiding social situations reduces anxiety in the short term, it may reinforce the fear over time and increase anxiety in the long run. Awareness of these cycles is key to interrupting them.

Building a daily routine that includes calming and restorative activities can also make a difference. This may include regular exercise, mindfulness practices, adequate sleep, and healthy boundaries around technology and work. Consistency helps the nervous system find balance and lowers overall anxiety levels.

How Counselling Can Help

If you’re finding it difficult to manage anxiety on your own, therapy can be a valuable support. A trained counsellor can help you explore the root causes of your anxiety, identify triggers, challenge negative thought patterns, and develop personalized coping strategies. Counselling offers a safe, non-judgmental space to build emotional resilience and gain practical tools for everyday life.

Begin Your Journey Toward Calm

Anxiety can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it alone. With the right support and strategies, it’s possible to feel more grounded, in control, and emotionally safe. Whether you're struggling with anxious thoughts, panic, or stress, help is available.

If you’re ready to take the first step, our practice offers compassionate, evidence-based therapy for anxiety. Reach out today to book a free consultation and start your path to relief.

Additional Resource:

Anxiety Canada is a helpful resource to learn more about anxiety, anxiety disorders, and tools to manage the symptoms.

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Understanding Core Beliefs: How Early Experiences Shape Your Identity

Discover how your core beliefs shape your authentic self — and unlock the path to true self-awareness and growth

Ever wonder why certain thoughts or behaviors seem to play on repeat in your life? Or why some patterns feel so deeply ingrained that they’re hard to break?
The answer may lie in your core beliefs, the deep-rooted ideas you hold about yourself, others, and the world around you.

What Are Core Beliefs?

In psychology, particularly in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Adlerian theory, core beliefs refer to the foundational assumptions that guide your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. These beliefs develop early in life, often shaped by your childhood environment, including:

  • Direct messages from caregivers or authority figures

  • Observed behavior or emotional modeling

  • Implicit experiences and unspoken assumptions

  • Your personal interpretation of events

Although core beliefs are highly subjective, we often treat them as absolute truths, even when they don’t serve us.

The Self-Reinforcing Nature of Core Beliefs

Core beliefs act like internal filters. Once they form, we tend to:

  • Accept information that confirms them (confirmation bias)

  • Reject or question anything that contradicts them

  • Behave in ways that reinforce them (self-fulfilling prophecy)

In this way, core beliefs become self-perpetuating loops that shape our emotional lives and decision-making—often without our awareness.

Common Negative Core Beliefs

Negative core beliefs are often rooted in early emotional wounds. Some common examples include:

About the Self:

  • I’m a failure

  • I don’t belong

  • I’m not lovable

About Others:

  • People will always let me down

  • No one can be trusted

  • People are only out for themselves

About the World:

  • The world is dangerous

  • Life is chaotic

  • Bad things always happen

How Core Beliefs Shape Your Life

Let’s look at how core beliefs silently influence thoughts and behavior:

  • If you believe you’re a failure, you may minimize your achievements and avoid challenges, which reinforces feelings of inadequacy.

  • If you believe people are untrustworthy, you may be overly guarded, unintentionally pushing others away—then interpret their distance as proof of your belief.

  • If you see the world as unsafe, you might avoid unfamiliar situations. The anxiety that results becomes more “evidence” for the belief, even if the threat isn’t real.

These are classic patterns in emotional reasoning and behavioral avoidance—tools your mind uses to protect you, even if they limit you in the long run.

How Core Beliefs Affect Your Connection to the Authentic Self

Your authentic self is who you are beneath the layers of conditioning—your natural personality, interests, boundaries, and values.

When negative core beliefs dominate, they act like internal censors, distorting your self-image. You might:

  • Dismiss your strengths

  • Avoid new opportunities

  • Cling to old patterns rooted in childhood survival

Over time, you may continue reacting as if you're still the vulnerable child who first developed these beliefs—rather than the capable adult you are now. This keeps you locked in a narrow, outdated version of yourself.

How to Identify Your Core Beliefs

You don’t need to consciously “remember” every childhood experience to uncover your core beliefs. Instead, start by noticing:

  • Recurring negative thoughts or emotional reactions

  • Repetitive behavior patterns in relationships, work, or self-image

  • Situations that cause disproportionate emotional distress

Ask yourself:

  • Where might this belief have originated?

  • Is this belief helping or harming me?

Exploring your family dynamics and early life experiences can provide additional insight. Working with a therapist can also help reveal blind spots and facilitate self-discovery.

How to Challenge and Change Limiting Beliefs

Once you identify a limiting belief, the next step is to challenge it with curiosity and compassion—not criticism.

Try these evidence-based strategies:

  • Ask: What would I say to a friend with this belief?

  • Collect real-life evidence that contradicts the belief

  • Invite feedback from people you trust and who view you differently

  • Use a thought journal to track and reframe recurring beliefs

You can also experiment with new behaviors that challenge your belief. For example, if you believe you’re incapable, try a small task that proves otherwise.

Reclaiming Your True Identity

Breaking free from limiting core beliefs allows you to reconnect with your true, multifaceted self. Start by:

  • Exploring your values, interests, and boundaries

  • Trying new experiences to see how you've grown

  • Practicing self-compassion when old beliefs surface

  • Replacing outdated narratives with ones that reflect your current reality, not your childhood lens

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Your Old Story

Your early experiences shaped your beliefs—but they don’t have to define your future.
By learning to recognize and challenge negative core beliefs, you give yourself permission to grow, change, and finally meet the version of you that was always waiting underneath.

Need support uncovering your core beliefs and reconnecting with your authentic self?

Consider speaking with a therapist who can guide you through this powerful journey of emotional transformation.

Additional Resource:

Learn more about core beliefs.

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