Feeling Back-to-School Jitters? Support and Counselling Tips for Families in Coquitlam

If the back-to-school season brings a mix of excitement and a little knot of worry in your stomach, you’re definitely not alone. Whether you’re a kid about to walk into a new classroom, a young adult stepping into the big world of college, or a parent quietly holding space for all of it — those feelings are real, and they matter.

At our Coquitlam counselling practice, we see so many families facing these exact moments. Anxiety around school isn’t just about tests or homework — it’s about change, identity, connection, and feeling seen. And sometimes, it feels bigger than you expected.

Let’s talk about how this shows up for youth, young adults, and parents — and why asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

What’s Really Going on with Back-to-School Anxiety?

It might help to know that anxiety isn’t just some “mental hiccup” or something you can push aside. It’s actually your brain and body trying to protect you — like an alarm going off when something feels uncertain or new.

Think about it this way: when you or your child face a new school year, the brain’s “fear center” (called the amygdala) is on high alert. It’s telling your body to get ready — heart beats faster, palms sweat, thoughts race — all the classic signs you’ve probably felt.

And that’s why anxiety can also show up physically: headaches, stomach aches, trouble sleeping. It’s your body reacting to stress hormones flooding through, even if there’s no immediate danger.

On top of that, anxiety can make it really tough to focus or remember things — which can make schoolwork and social situations feel even harder.

How Counselling Helps Calm the Storm

The great news? Counselling isn’t just about talking through worries — it teaches your brain and body how to dial down that alarm.

For example:

• With things like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), we work together to spot those scary “what if” thoughts and gently question them. Is that worry really true? What else could be happening?

• Simple tools like deep breathing or grounding exercises help your nervous system slow down, bringing you back to the here and now.

• Therapy also helps build your personal toolkit for managing stress — things like time management, setting boundaries, or practicing kindness toward yourself.

• And maybe most importantly, counselling creates a safe space where you or your child can feel heard, understood, and supported — which is huge when anxiety feels overwhelming.

For Kids & Teens: More Than Just Butterflies in the Stomach

If you’ve ever seen your child wake up with a pit in their stomach before school, or if you’re a teen who dreads the lunchroom or that first day, you know it’s about more than “just nerves.”

It might be:

• Wondering if they’ll find a friend who really gets them

• Fearing they’ll mess up or not be good enough

• Feeling invisible or overwhelmed by everything new

• Worrying about fitting in or standing out — in all the wrong ways

Counselling can be a quiet space for kids and teens to voice these fears without judgment. It’s about learning how to face those worries, build confidence, and remember they’re not alone in this.

For Young Adults: The Pressure of “Figuring It All Out”

If you’re between 18 and 25, the back-to-school jitters can look a bit different. Maybe you’re moving out on your own for the first time, balancing a heavier course load, or feeling the pressure to “have it all together” when inside you’re a bit lost.

That sense of comparison — seeing friends who seem to have it easier — can fuel anxiety. And sometimes, the excitement about a fresh start mixes with deep uncertainty about what’s next.

Therapy isn’t about fixing you; it’s about unpacking the pressure, setting your own pace, and carving out space to breathe and grow — even if the path isn’t perfectly clear.

For Parents: The Silent Struggle Behind the Smile

Parents, you are often the quiet heroes during this time. You manage schedules, soothe fears, pack lunches, and still wonder if you’re doing enough.

Maybe you worry about your child feeling anxious but don’t know how to help. Or perhaps your own stress about work, finances, and family makes the back-to-school season feel heavy.

Counselling can offer you a breath of fresh air. It’s a chance to process your own worries, learn to hold space for your child’s feelings without losing yourself, and find ways to support your family — with kindness and patience.

When Back-to-School Anxiety Becomes Too Much

Sometimes, those jitters grow into something harder to manage — sleepless nights, constant worry, or physical symptoms like headaches and stomachaches. If this sounds familiar, it’s a good sign to reach out for support.

Remember, anxiety isn’t a weakness; it’s a signal that you or your loved ones deserve care and understanding.

A Little Help Makes a Big Difference

At our Coquitlam counselling practice, we’re here for every part of this journey. Whether you’re a young person facing a daunting first day or a parent wanting to support your child without losing yourself — you don’t have to do it alone.

Therapy is a space to explore, grow, and build resilience — to walk into the new school year with a little more calm and a lot more confidence.

Ready to take the next step?

Reach out for a free consultation or learn more about how we support youth, young adults, and parents through back-to-school transitions and beyond.

The Hidden Costs of Social Media: How It Impacts Youth Mental Health

Social media has become an everyday part of growing up — a digital playground where teens and tweens socialize, express themselves, and stay connected. But behind the filters and hashtags, many young people are silently struggling with the hidden pressures of life online.

Let’s talk about the real impacts of social media on youth mental health, and what parents and caregivers can do to support healthier digital habits.

The Comparison Trap

Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat often promote unrealistic beauty standards, curated lifestyles, and highlight reels of others’ lives. For a developing teen brain, constantly comparing themselves to influencers or even peers can lead to:

• Low self-esteem

• Body dissatisfaction

• Anxiety and depression

What may start as scrolling for fun can quickly become a cycle of self-criticism.

Sleep & Screen Time Struggles

Teens often scroll late into the night, responding to messages or checking likes. Studies have shown that:

• Increased screen time is linked to sleep disturbances

• Poor sleep can worsen emotional regulation and concentration

• Lack of downtime may increase risk for burnout and mood swings

When social media becomes constant, rest and reflection take a backseat.

Cyberbullying and Online Harassment

While bullying used to end at the school gate, today it can follow youth home. Social media can amplify cruelty through:

• Anonymous messages

• Exclusion from group chats

• Public shaming or “canceling”

This type of digital harassment can have deep emotional consequences, especially for teens already struggling with identity or belonging.

Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Social media fosters a constant fear of being left out. Teens may feel:

• Pressured to post or perform to stay relevant

• Anxious when friends hang out without them

• Stressed about replying instantly or keeping up appearances

This creates an overwhelming sense of always being “on”, which can feel exhausting and isolating.

Mental Health Red Flags to Watch For

If you’re concerned about a child or teen, look for:

• Withdrawal from friends or activities

• Constant checking of notifications

• Irritability when screen time is limited

• Sleep issues or fatigue

• Sudden changes in mood, eating, or appearance

These may be signs that social media is negatively impacting their mental health.

Algorithmic Addiction — The Science of Hooking Teens

One of the most insidious and lesser-known dangers of social media is how it’s designed to be addictive—particularly to the still-developing brains of adolescents.

Built Like a Slot Machine

Social media platforms use algorithm-driven content loops that function much like slot machines. Every time a teen opens Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat, they’re rewarded with a variable hit of content that’s unpredictable yet instantly gratifying. This random reward system triggers the brain’s dopamine response, reinforcing the behaviour.

Over time, this builds into a cycle of compulsive checking, scrolling, and posting, especially in youth whose brains are wired for novelty, risk-taking, and peer approval.

Did You Know? Studies show that social media lights up the same brain areas as gambling and substance use, especially in adolescents.

Teens Are Especially Vulnerable

The adolescent brain is still developing its prefrontal cortex—the part responsible for impulse control, decision-making, and long-term planning. This makes teens more susceptible to addictive design features, such as:

• Infinite scroll

• Push notifications

• Likes and streaks

• Personalized content feeds

These features are not neutral; they are engineered to maximize time on screen, regardless of mental or emotional cost.

Doomscrolling and Dopamine Burnout

Many teens get stuck in “doomscrolling” loops—passively consuming negative or anxiety-inducing content late at night. This habit not only disturbs sleep and worsens mood but can blunt the brain’s dopamine response over time, leading to:

• Reduced motivation

• Mood swings

• Increased sensitivity to stress

• Decreased enjoyment of offline activities

Warning Signs of Algorithmic Addiction in Youth

Watch for signs like:

• Panic or irritability when separated from their phone

• Compulsive checking during meals, school, or social events

• Decreased interest in hobbies or time with family

• Difficulty sleeping due to nighttime scrolling

How Parents and Caregivers Can Help

1. Open the Conversation
   Create a safe space to talk about what they’re seeing and feeling online — without judgment.

2. Set Tech Boundaries Together
   Collaborate on limits that work for your family. Consider device-free meals or wind-down routines.

3. Model Healthy Habits
   Kids notice how adults use their phones too. Try being mindful of your own screen time.

4. Prioritize Sleep and Real-Life Social Time Poor sleep and loneliness amplify the need for digital escapism. Create routines that support:

   • A regular bedtime without screens an hour before sleep

   • Face-to-face time with friends or family (even just walks or shared meals)

5. Know When to Seek Help
   A counsellor can help teens build self-worth, cope with anxiety, and navigate social pressures — online and offline.

You’re Not Alone

The digital world is changing fast, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed as a parent. If your teen is struggling with the mental load of social media, we’re here to help.

At Kristen Holbrook Counselling, we support youth and families through compassionate, evidence-based therapy in Coquitlam and online across BC.

Ready to Talk?

Our counsellors can help you take steps to towards a healthier balance with technology.

Finding Hope Through Grief Counselling: You Don’t Have to Face Loss Alone

Grief is one of those deeply personal experiences that can feel incredibly lonely, even when surrounded by people. It doesn’t always look the way we expect, and it certainly doesn’t follow a neat timeline. Maybe you’re grieving the death of someone dear—or maybe it’s something less recognized but just as painful, like infertility, chronic illness, or the loss of a relationship or job. Whatever your story, grief touches us all, and healing often begins when we find someone to walk beside us.

At Kristen Holbrook Counselling our compassionate grief counsellors are here to help you navigate this difficult journey. Through grief counselling, we create a safe space where you can explore your feelings, understand your unique experience, and start to rebuild your life with kindness and care.

What Is Grief Counselling, Really?

Grief counselling is more than just talking about sadness. It’s about honoring all the complex emotions swirling inside—anger, guilt, relief, numbness—and finding healthy ways to live with them. Whether your loss comes from the death of a loved one, infertility struggles, chronic pain or illness, or another life change, grief affects your mind, body, and spirit.

Therapy can support you to process these emotions, find meaning in your experience, and build coping strategies that fit your life.

What Grief Feels Like

Grief can hit you in waves—sometimes calm, sometimes crashing. You might feel:

• A heaviness in your chest or fatigue that just won’t lift

• Emotions that shift rapidly from sadness to anger or guilt

• Difficulty focusing or making simple decisions

• The urge to withdraw or the need to reach out and connect

There is no “right” way to grieve, and no timeline that fits everyone. Your grief is your own, and it’s okay to move at your own pace.

Common Myths About Grief

I want to share a few things many people believe about grief—and why they just aren’t true:

• “You should be over it by now.”
  Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. Sometimes it changes shape, but it can be part of your life for years—and that’s okay.

• “You have to be strong and hide your feelings.”
  Real strength is being honest about your pain. Letting yourself cry, express anger, or feel numb is part of healing.

• “Everyone grieves the same way.”
  Some cry often, some don’t cry at all. Some want to be around people, some need space. Your way of grieving is valid.

• “Grief is only about death.”
  This is one I hear often—and it’s so important to bust. While the loss of a loved one is one of the deepest kinds of grief, many people grieve other profound losses: infertility, chronic pain or illness, divorce, miscarriage, losing a job, or even moving to a new place. All these losses deserve acknowledgement and care, and grief therapy can help you process and heal from them.

How Grief Counselling Can Support You

Working with a grief counsellor isn’t about forgetting your loss. It’s about learning how to live with it in a way that honors your feelings and helps you grow. We’ll help you:

• Find tools to cope when grief feels overwhelming

• Understand the stages and complexity of grief

• Create personal rituals or practices to remember and honor your loss

• Reconnect with hope and community

Whether you’re looking for grief counselling in Coquitlam or prefer virtual sessions, we’re here to offer you compassionate support every step of the way.

You’re Not Alone

Grief can feel isolating, but it doesn’t have to be. Our team of counsellors understands how deeply loss can affect you, and we want to walk this path with you.

If you’re ready to reach out, we’re here. Healing starts with connection—and you deserve that support.

How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty

Setting boundaries is a key part of maintaining healthy relationships and protecting your mental health — but many people struggle with one major obstacle: guilt.

You may know that saying “no” or asking for space is the right choice, but still feel overwhelmed with worry about how others will respond. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and the good news is that learning to set boundaries without guilt is possible.

At Kristen Holbrook Counselling, we help clients explore boundary-setting as a powerful part of self-care and emotional healing. Here’s how to start setting boundaries that feel good — and stick.

What Are Boundaries, Really?

Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our time, energy, values, and emotional wellbeing. They help define what we’re okay with and what we’re not.

Examples of healthy boundaries:

• Saying no to social events when you need rest

• Not answering work emails outside of office hours

• Asking for emotional support without judgment

• Limiting contact with people who drain or disrespect you

Boundaries aren’t about pushing others away — they’re about creating space for healthier connection and self-respect.

Why Does Setting Boundaries Feel So Hard?

If setting boundaries leaves you feeling selfish, guilty, or anxious, you’re not alone. These feelings often come from:

• People-pleasing habits

• Fear of conflict or being disliked

• Cultural or family expectations

• Low self-worth or over-responsibility for others’ emotions

For many people, the difficulty starts early. In your family of origin, you may not have seen boundaries modelled in healthy ways — or you may have learned that your needs weren’t welcome.

• Were you told it was rude to say “no”?

• Did you feel responsible for keeping the peace?

• Were your emotional or physical boundaries regularly ignored?

If your voice wasn’t heard growing up, or setting limits led to guilt or consequences, it makes sense that boundary-setting feels unsafe or selfish now. If you were never shown that boundaries are healthy, it’s understandable that they feel unfamiliar or even threatening. But boundaries are a learnable skill — and one that can transform how you relate to yourself and others.

How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt

1. Recognize that guilt doesn’t mean you’re wrong

Guilt may show up simply because you’re doing something new. Instead of avoiding guilt, try to ride the wave — notice the discomfort, and act from your values anyway.

If you feel guilty, set the boundary anyway. The only way guilt fades is by practicing the new behavior. Over time, your nervous system begins to recognize that it’s safe to speak up — and boundary-setting becomes your new normal.

“Discomfort doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice — it might just mean it’s a new one.”

2. Start with small, low-stakes boundaries

Build your confidence by setting limits in everyday situations and practice with those that you know will respect your boundaries:

• “I won’t be available after 6 PM.”

• “I am unable to talk tonight, I will call you tomorrow.”

These small moments help you rewire the belief that your needs aren’t allowed.

3. If your default is saying “yes,” buy yourself time

If you tend to say yes automatically out of habit, pressure, or people-pleasing, one of the most helpful tools is to pause.

Try saying:

• “Let me check my schedule and get back to you.”

• “Can I think about that and let you know?”

Giving yourself space allows you to check in with your real needs instead of reacting from guilt or obligation.

4. Use “I” statements and stay kind but firm

You can be respectful and compassionate and hold a boundary.

Example: “I really value our friendship, and I also need some space right now to recharge.”

5. Don’t overexplain or justify your boundaries

Many of us were taught that we have to “earn” our no — especially if we grew up in environments where saying no wasn’t accepted. But you don’t need to provide a long explanation or defend your choice. You are allowed to protect your time and energy — without guilt, without apologies.

Short, clear statements are enough:

• “I’m not available that day.”

• “That doesn’t work for me.”

• “I need to say no.”

The more you practice this, the more grounded your boundaries will feel.

6. Separate others’ reactions from your responsibility

You can’t control how someone feels about your boundary — only how you express it.

You are responsible for your needs. They are responsible for their reactions.

This separation is key in letting go of guilt.

7. Explore the roots of guilt in therapy

When guilt feels overwhelming or deeply ingrained, it’s often tied to old emotional patterns — like childhood beliefs that your worth depends on being agreeable, accommodating, or self-sacrificing.

Therapy can help you explore where those beliefs came from, understand them with compassion, and learn how to shift them.

You Deserve Space to Protect Your Wellbeing

Healthy boundaries are a crucial part of emotional wellness — and learning to set them without guilt can be freeing, empowering, and healing.

At Kristen Holbrook Counselling, our experienced team in Coquitlam can help you:

• Understand the emotional roots of guilt and people-pleasing

• Learn boundary-setting tools that feel clear and compassionate

• Strengthen your confidence and sense of self

Learn more about our counsellors or book a free 15-minute consultation today to get support in creating boundaries that honour your needs and deepen your relationships — without the guilt.