ADHD Isn’t Just About Distraction—Here’s What’s Really Going On

Why Can’t I Just Focus?”

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “Why can’t I just do the thing?”—whether it’s replying to an email, starting that laundry, or focusing in a meeting—you’re not alone. For people with ADHD, that internal struggle is real, exhausting, and often misunderstood.

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is way more than fidgeting or being easily distracted. It affects how your brain regulates focus, time, motivation, and even emotions. And no—it’s not about laziness or not trying hard enough.

It’s Not a Deficit of Attention—It’s Trouble Managing It

One of the biggest myths about ADHD is that people just lack attention. Actually, many people with ADHD have plenty of attention—sometimes too much! The real issue is that the brain struggles to control where that attention goes.

You might zone out during a Zoom call… but spend five hyperfocused hours reorganizing your bookshelf. This isn’t inconsistent effort—it’s the ADHD brain looking for interest, not just importance.

What ADHD Feels Like Day to Day

Living with ADHD can feel like having 100 tabs open in your brain all the time… and a few of them won’t stop playing music.

Some common experiences:

• Starting five tasks and finishing none

• Forgetting why you walked into a room

• Feeling overwhelmed by “simple” tasks

• Saying yes too fast, then regretting it

• Missing deadlines despite working all day

• Getting emotionally flooded or snapping quickly

And then—when you’re really interested in something—you might totally lose track of time because you’re in hyperfocus mode. ADHD is full of these contradictions, which is why so many people feel misunderstood.

So… What’s Happening in the Brain?

In ADHD, the brain has some differences in executive functioning—the stuff that helps you plan, prioritize, follow through, and manage impulses.

There’s also a difference in how the brain handles dopamine, which plays a big role in motivation and reward. Simply put: boring tasks don’t spark enough dopamine to keep your brain engaged… but something exciting or new? That lights it up like a Christmas tree.

This is why ADHD brains often crave novelty and stimulation. It’s not about chasing thrills—it’s about finally feeling focused and alive.

ADHD and Time: A Complicated Relationship

If you often underestimate how long things will take—or feel like time just disappears—you might be dealing with time blindness, a common ADHD symptom. It’s why deadlines sneak up, appointments get missed, or that “quick” task turns into a three-hour rabbit hole.

ADHD Isn’t Just a Kid Thing

Tons of people are diagnosed with ADHD as adults—especially women, who often go overlooked. That’s because girls are more likely to internalize symptoms (like anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing), rather than bouncing off the walls.

Many adults don’t realize they have ADHD until:

• Their child gets diagnosed and they start seeing the patterns

• They burn out trying to “keep up” with life

• They hit a big life transition (like parenting, starting a new job, or going back to school)

Oh—and Sleep? That’s a Whole Other Story

People with ADHD often have a hard time winding down. Your brain might feel “on” even when you’re physically tired, making it hard to fall asleep. And poor sleep only makes focus, mood, and energy worse the next day. (Fun, right?)

Sensory Overload Is a Thing Too

ADHD isn’t just about focus—it can also affect how you process the world around you. Some people are super sensitive to noise, lights, textures, or crowded spaces. Others barely notice these things at all.

If you’ve ever left a grocery store feeling totally fried by the lights, sounds, and chaos—that might be your ADHD talking.

It Often Comes with “Bonus” Conditions

ADHD rarely shows up alone. It often overlaps with:

• Anxiety

• Depression

• Learning differences

• Autism

• Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) – a deep emotional reaction to feeling rejected or criticized

If you’ve ever felt like “everything is too much” emotionally—it might not be just anxiety. It could be your brain reacting in an ADHD way to emotional cues.

But It’s Not All Struggle—There Are Strengths, Too

Let’s not forget: ADHD comes with some serious superpowers.

Many people with ADHD are:

• Exceptionally creative and idea-driven

• Quick-thinking in high-pressure situations

• Passionate, energetic, and resourceful

• Able to see patterns and connections others miss

• Intuitive, empathetic, and deeply caring

Sure, you may forget where you left your phone for the third time today—but you also might be the person with the most innovative ideas in the room.

So What Helps?

First, know this: trying harder doesn’t work. Trying differently does.

Helpful supports include:

• ADHD-informed therapy or coaching

• Medication, when appropriate, to support focus and mood

• External supports (visual timers, reminders, checklists, body doubling)

• Creating routines that are flexible, not rigid

• Learning to work with your brain, not against it

And perhaps most importantly: learning self-compassion. ADHD isn’t a character flaw—it’s a brain difference. You deserve tools and support that actually fit you.

Final Thought: You’re Not Alone in This

If this blog feels like it’s describing your inner world—there’s a reason. ADHD is more common than we think, and many people go years (even decades) without realizing what’s going on.

The good news? There’s help, there’s understanding, and there’s absolutely a way forward.

Reach out today to book a free consultation or learn more about how we can support you.

Counselling Isn’t Just for Crisis: Why Therapy Can Help You at Any Stage of Life

Why Counselling Isn’t Just for Crisis

When you hear the word counselling, what comes to mind? For many people, it's something they associate with times of crisis—after a loss, during a mental health breakdown, or when life feels completely overwhelming. And while counselling can absolutely be a lifeline during those moments, it's also so much more than that.

At our Coquitlam counselling practice, we often remind clients that you don’t need to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. In fact, many people come to counselling because they want to feel better, build healthier relationships, gain insight into their patterns, or simply take care of their mental health. Counselling can be an important part of ongoing self-care and personal growth—not just a response to stress or trauma.

There’s a common misconception that counselling is only for emergencies. But much like you wouldn’t wait for a medical issue to become severe before seeing a doctor, you don’t need to wait until you're struggling to see a counsellor. Seeking counselling can be a proactive step toward understanding yourself more deeply, building emotional resilience, and developing practical tools to navigate everyday life.

Counselling offers a safe, supportive, and confidential space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Whether you're going through a life transition, feeling stuck in old patterns, or simply want to gain clarity and direction, counselling can help you feel more grounded and empowered. It’s not about having something “wrong” with you—it’s about investing in your overall well-being.

If you're in Coquitlam or the surrounding areas and are considering counselling, know that it’s okay to seek support even when life feels “mostly fine.” Counselling can help you thrive—not just survive.

Here are just a few reasons people come to therapy—and why it might be helpful for you, too.

1. You’re Feeling Stuck or Unsure

Life doesn’t always come with a clear roadmap. Maybe you’re trying to figure out your next step in your career, questioning a relationship, or simply feeling disconnected from the person you used to be. Counselling gives you space to pause, reflect, and reconnect with yourself in a meaningful way.

2. You Want to Improve Your Relationships

Whether it’s with a partner, family member, or even your coworkers, relationships can be complicated. We often hear clients say, “I just want to communicate better,” or “I keep having the same arguments.” Therapy can help you understand patterns, improve communication, and build healthier, more connected relationships.

3. You’re Managing Stress or Burnout

Life in Coquitlam—like anywhere—can get busy. Between work, family, and everything in between, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Counselling can help you slow down, manage anxiety, and find tools that work for you. It’s not about “fixing” you—it’s about supporting you through the day-to-day.

4. You’re Going Through a Life Change

Transitions—big or small—can stir up a lot. Whether you’re becoming a parent, going through a breakup, retiring, or moving to a new city, these moments often come with a mix of emotions. Therapy offers a safe place to process, adjust, and find your footing again.

5. You’re Looking for Personal Growth

Therapy doesn’t have to be about solving a problem. Sometimes it’s just about becoming more you. Counselling can help you explore your values, set goals, and build the life you truly want. It’s a powerful form of self-care and personal development.

6. You Want to Be Proactive About Your Mental Health

Just like we go to the gym to keep our bodies healthy, counselling is a way to take care of your mental and emotional well-being. You don’t have to wait until things fall apart. You’re allowed to seek support before it feels urgent.

What Counselling Looks Like at Our Coquitlam Practice

If you’re considering counselling, we’re here to help you feel seen, heard, and supported. Our practice offers a welcoming, non-judgmental space where you can show up exactly as you are. We work with adults, youth, children, couples, and families, and tailor our approach to your unique needs and goals.

Whether you’re navigating a big change or simply wanting to check in with yourself, therapy can be an incredible investment in your well-being.

If you’ve been thinking about trying counselling—or even if you’re just a little curious—we’d love to connect. Reach out today to book a free consultation or learn more about how we can support you.

Managing Stress and Burnout: Tools from a Registered Counsellor in Coquitlam

In today’s fast-paced world, stress is more than just an occasional inconvenience—it’s something many of us live with every day. Whether it’s work pressure, parenting challenges, or emotional fatigue, stress can build up and lead to burnout. As registered counsellors in Coquitlam, we see how chronic stress can impact mental, emotional, and physical health. But the good news is: support and relief are possible.

What’s the Difference Between Stress and Burnout?

Stress is your body’s natural response to pressure. It can be short-term (like preparing for a big meeting) or chronic (such as constant job demands). Stress often feels like you’re juggling too much—but still hopeful that you can manage it.

Burnout, on the other hand, is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It’s more than just feeling tired—it’s feeling depleted, disconnected, and numb. Common signs of burnout include:

• Chronic fatigue or lack of motivation

• Feeling emotionally drained

• Increased irritability or detachment

• Reduced performance or productivity

• Trouble sleeping or frequent illness

If you relate to these signs, know that you’re not alone—and there are proven strategies that can help.

Tools to Manage Stress and Prevent Burnout

Here are several therapist-recommended strategies you can begin using today:

1. Set Healthy Boundaries

Saying “no” can be difficult, especially for people who are highly driven or empathetic. But without clear boundaries, we overextend ourselves. Begin by identifying your limits and communicating them clearly—both at work and at home.

2. Schedule Rest—Not Just Sleep

Intentional rest isn’t laziness—it’s essential. Create time in your week for things that recharge you: reading, walking in nature, listening to music, or simply doing nothing.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness helps you reconnect with the present moment, instead of ruminating over the past or worrying about the future. Try short mindfulness exercises like:

• Deep breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 6)

• Body scans to check in with how you’re feeling

• Mindful walks where you notice your surroundings intentionally

4. Recognize and Challenge Negative Thoughts

Burnout often comes with self-critical or hopeless thoughts like “I can’t keep up” or “I’m not doing enough.” A counsellor can help you recognize these thought patterns and learn healthier ways of thinking through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques.

5. Seek Support—You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Talking to a trained professional can provide relief, perspective, and a plan to move forward. Counselling offers a safe space to process what you’re going through, identify stressors, and build resilience.

How Counselling Can Help

At our Coquitlam counselling practice, we support individuals experiencing stress and burnout through a compassionate, evidence-based approach. Whether you’re overwhelmed by work, struggling with emotional exhaustion, or simply feeling “not yourself,” therapy can help you reconnect with your strengths and develop tools for lasting change.

Some of the approaches we use include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR)

• Solution-Focused Therapy

• Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) for relationship-related stress

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re feeling burnt out or overwhelmed, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Our team of Registered Clinical Counsellors (RCCs) in Coquitlam offers individual counselling both in-person and online, tailored to your unique needs.

Located in the heart of Coquitlam and proudly serving the Tri-Cities area, we’re here to support your journey to wellness.

Book a Free Consultation Today

You deserve support, rest, and balance. Learn more about our counsellors or schedule a free phone consultation and take the first step toward feeling better.

Finding the Right Counsellor: A Quick Guide

Choosing a counsellor is one of the most important steps in your mental health journey. Whether you're seeking support for anxiety, depression, trauma, relationship issues, or personal growth, the right counselling relationship can make all the difference. But with so many options out there, how do you know who’s the right fit?

In this guide, we’ll walk you through the key considerations to help you choose the right counsellor for your needs.

1. Understand Why You’re Seeking Counselling

Before you begin your search, take a moment to reflect on what you’re hoping to get out of counselling. Are you looking for help with a specific issue like grief or stress? Do you need someone with expertise in trauma-informed care or neurodiversity? Knowing what you're seeking will help narrow down your choices.

2. Check Qualifications and Experience

Not all counsellors are the same. Look for someone who is professionally trained, registered with a recognized body (such as the BCACC), and has experience working with the concerns you’re facing. Don’t hesitate to ask about their background, areas of expertise, or counselling approach.

3. Consider Their Counselling Style and Approach

Counselling can take many forms — Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), EMDR, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Client-Centered Therapy, and more. Some counsellors are more directive, while others focus on reflective listening and emotional support. Read about their approach and ask yourself whether that style resonates with you.

4. Think About Practical Factors

Logistics matter. Consider:

• Location – Do you prefer in-person sessions or online counselling?

• Availability – Can they accommodate your schedule?

• Cost – Does the session fee align with your budget?

The right counsellor will meet you where you are both practically and emotionally.

5. Trust the Connection

No matter how qualified a counsellor is, the relationship matters most. Do you feel heard, understood, and safe? The therapeutic alliance (the connection between client and counsellor) is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes in counselling.

Many counsellors offer a free initial phone consultation. Use this time to ask questions, share what you're hoping for, and get a sense of whether the connection feels right.

6. Don’t Be Afraid to Change Counsellors

If you’ve started counselling and it doesn’t feel like a good fit, that’s okay. Finding the right counsellor is sometimes a process. You deserve a space where you feel respected, understood, and supported.

Final Thoughts

Finding the right counsellor can feel overwhelming, but it’s a powerful act of self-care. Take your time, trust your instincts, and remember that you are worthy of support that truly meets your needs.

If you're ready to explore counselling options and want to learn more about our counsellors’ approaches click here. To book an initial consultation with any of our counsellors click here. We’re here to help you find clarity, healing, and growth — at your pace.