Why Summertime Can Be Hard for Mental Health (And What You Can Do About It)
Everyone assumes summer is the season of joy, freedom, and ease. But for many, the longer days can bring unexpected waves of anxiety, loneliness, or burnout. If you’re not feeling “summery” this year, you’re not alone—and there’s nothing wrong with you. Reaching out for counselling or speaking with a trusted counsellor can make all the difference.
When people talk about summer, the usual words that come to mind are “carefree,” “relaxed,” or “happy.” Social media is full of vacations, family outings, and sunny moments that seem picture-perfect. But what happens when summer doesn’t feel that way to you?
In therapy, we see this all the time: clients feel out of step with the season. While others seem energized, they feel stuck, anxious, overwhelmed—or even depressed. And that can feel incredibly isolating, like you're doing something wrong. The truth? You're not.
Let’s talk about why summer can be emotionally challenging, and what you can do to support your mental health through it—with or without professional counselling.
Why Summer Can Be Emotionally Challenging
1. More Sunlight, More Pressure
With the longer days come increased expectations to do more, be more social, or enjoy life more. If you’re already emotionally exhausted, these pressures can feel suffocating.
2. Disrupted Routines
For students, parents, or anyone affected by the school calendar, summer often brings a major routine shift. Routines that once provided stability may disappear—leading to sleep issues, lack of structure, and emotional dysregulation. This is something many people work through in counselling sessions.
3. Body Image Anxiety
Summer often means more skin, swimsuits, and the ever-present "bikini body" talk. For those struggling with body image or disordered eating, this season can feel hyper-exposing and triggering. Talking with a registered clinical counsellor can help unpack the root of these body image challenges in a safe, non-judgmental space.
4. Social Comparison
Summer often amplifies comparison. Whether it’s watching others travel, socialize, or thrive—those highlight reels can intensify feelings of loneliness or “not enoughness.”
5. Financial Strain
Summer activities, vacations, and camps can be costly. If you're already stressed financially, summer can feel less like a break and more like a burden. This strain—along with financial guilt or pressure—can be explored in therapy to help you manage expectations more realistically.
6. Changes in Childcare or Responsibilities
If you're a parent or caregiver, summer may mean juggling more—kids at home, fewer breaks, and shifting priorities that leave little space for rest or self-care. Many parents find counselling support especially helpful during these seasonal shifts.
And let’s name this, too: parent guilt is real. You may feel like you're supposed to create a magical, memory-filled summer with endless energy for outings, snacks, and playtime. But if you're running on empty, that expectation can feel impossible—and defeating.
It’s okay if you don’t have something planned every day. It’s okay if screen time happens. You are not failing your children—you’re showing up the best you can. Sometimes the most meaningful summer moments come from slowing down, not speeding up.
7. Seasonal Affective Disorder (Summer-Onset)
Yes—it’s real. While most people associate SAD with winter, a smaller group experiences it in the summer, triggered by heat, excessive light, or changes in routine. A trained counsellor can help assess if seasonal depression is affecting you and support you with strategies that work.
How Summer Can Be Hard on Relationships
Summer isn't just about personal stress—it can also put unexpected pressure on our relationships.
Increased Time Together (or Apart)
More time at home or on vacation might sound ideal, but it can bring underlying tensions to the surface. Without the regular distractions of school or work, couples may notice communication issues, mismatched expectations, or differences in energy levels.
On the flip side, summer can also mean spending less time together—especially if one partner is traveling, working long hours, or busy with kids. That disconnection can leave both people feeling unseen or unsupported. Couples counselling can be an important space to reconnect.
Different Ideas of Fun
Not everyone enjoys summer the same way. One person might want to be out hiking every weekend, while the other craves quiet evenings inside. When partners have different ideas of what “a good summer” looks like, it can lead to frustration or resentment—something that can be gently unpacked in couples therapy.
Family Visits and Social Pressures
Summer often brings more social obligations: barbecues, reunions, in-laws visiting. These can stir anxiety, unspoken boundaries, or old wounds—especially if one partner feels obligated while the other feels overwhelmed.
Parenting Stress
If you have children, summer can mean navigating child care, sibling conflict, screen time, and lack of downtime. That stress often spills over into the couple dynamic, leaving both partners feeling depleted.
What You Can Do to Support Your Mental Health in Summer
1. Let Go of the “Shoulds”
You don’t have to love summer. You don’t have to go camping, host barbecues, or enjoy every sunny moment. It’s okay if summer doesn’t feel like your season, or maybe it’s just not your season this year.
Instead, ask yourself:
What would feel good—or at least manageable—for me this week?
2. Protect Your Routine (Where You Can)
Even loose structure can offer grounding. Aim to wake up and go to bed around the same time. Plan meals, movement, or breaks that help you feel steady.
3. Limit Social Media
If seeing everyone else’s “perfect” summer is affecting your mood, take a step back. A break from constant comparison can restore perspective—and reduce anxiety.
4. Reconnect With What You Truly Enjoy
Instead of chasing someone else’s summer, lean into activities that actually nourish you. That could be reading in the shade, taking a solo walk, or enjoying a quiet morning coffee outside.
5. Make Space to Feel What You’re Feeling
Give yourself permission to not be okay—even when it’s sunny. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or meeting with a counsellor can help you process feelings without shame.
6. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to go through this alone. Therapy is a safe space to talk through how you're feeling, explore what’s coming up for you, and learn tools to cope in a way that fits your life and relationships.
You’re Not Alone—Even If It Feels That Way
Mental health doesn’t take a summer break. If you’re struggling right now, that doesn’t make you broken—it makes you human.
Whether you’re carrying anxiety, burnout, relationship tension, or a deep sense of disconnection, you deserve support. You deserve rest. You deserve care.
And it’s okay to seek help—even when the sun is shining.
Are You and Your Partner Speaking the Same (Love) Language?
Sometimes love feels confusing—not because it’s missing, but because you and your partner may be speaking different love languages. Discover how understanding these can bring you closer.
In every relationship, how we express love can vary based on our upbringing, culture, and family of origin. We might show affection by giving gifts, spending quality time, offering physical touch, using words of affirmation, or helping with acts of service. These differences can lead to misunderstandings—especially when partners speak different "love languages."
The concept of love languages was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in 1992. He identified five primary ways people express and receive love:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Understanding your partner’s love language can improve emotional connection, reduce resentment, and help you both feel more seen and appreciated.
Why Love Languages Matter in a Relationship
When two partners speak different love languages, what begins as simple miscommunication can turn into feelings of rejection, resentment, and emotional distance.
For example, imagine one partner values words of affirmation, while the other shows love through acts of service. The first partner might feel unloved if they don’t hear “I love you” or receive verbal encouragement, even though their partner is showing love by doing helpful tasks like making coffee or cleaning the car. The result? One partner feels emotionally neglected, while the other feels unappreciated.
Over time, this disconnect can lead to:
Emotional withdrawal
Misunderstandings
Resentment
A breakdown in communication
How Misunderstanding Love Languages Affects Emotional Safety
If one partner feels unheard or unseen in how they understand love, they may begin to withdraw emotionally to protect themselves. On the other hand, the partner offering love through their own lens may start to feel rejected or unacknowledged. This mutual misunderstanding can erode trust, intimacy, and emotional safety.
The key is learning to recognize and respond to each other’s love languages—even when they differ. For instance, if your partner expresses love through acts of service, shifting your attention to appreciate those efforts can soften resentment and rebuild connection. Similarly, if your partner understands that you need verbal affirmations, they may begin to use words more intentionally to meet your emotional needs.
Building a Healthier Relationship Through Shared Understanding
When partners learn to speak each other’s love language, the relationship often becomes more:
Emotionally fulfilling
Connected
Resilient during conflict
Grounded in empathy and mutual appreciation
This deeper understanding fosters secure attachment and encourages more open conversations about needs, boundaries, and past experiences with love.
Additional Resource:
A free quiz to help you identify your own love language. Better yet, have your partner take the quiz too!
Read more about the benefits of marriage/couples counselling.
How Core Beliefs Shape Relationships: Why You and Your Partner See Things So Differently
Our core beliefs act as lenses through which we interpret the world, shaping how we see situations and others—explaining why perspectives often differ.
What Are Core Beliefs?
Core beliefs are the deeply held assumptions we have about ourselves, others, and the world around us. They influence how we think, feel, and behave—often without us even realizing it. These beliefs are usually hidden in our mental “blind spots,” but they shape how we interpret events and relate to others, including our romantic partners.
How Are Core Beliefs Formed?
Core beliefs are formed early in life, primarily through our experiences within our family of origin—the first community we belong to.
They are shaped by the messages we receive directly or indirectly through:
What we're told
What is modeled for us
How we perceive the world around us
These messages may be explicit ("You’re so smart") or implicit (emotional neglect or inconsistency). Over time, they become the internal framework through which we understand ourselves and others—what psychologists call a subjective reality.
A Helpful Analogy: The Tree and the Roots
Think of a person like a tree:
Core beliefs are the roots—hidden but foundational.
Just like roots are influenced by the soil, water, and space in which they grow, our beliefs are shaped by the emotional environment of our childhood.
If you grew up in a loving, stable home, you may develop core beliefs like:
I am lovable.
People can be trusted.
The world is safe.
On the other hand, if you grew up with criticism, chaos, or neglect, your beliefs might sound like:
I’m not good enough.
Others will hurt me.
The world is unpredictable or unsafe.
By around age five, our beliefs begin to solidify. Like the top layer of soil covering the roots, we may no longer be aware of these beliefs, they continue to shape how we respond to life and relationships.
Core Beliefs in Romantic Relationships
Because core beliefs operate beneath the surface, they can lead to misunderstandings, assumptions, and emotional conflict between partners. Two people can interpret the same moment in very different ways:
One person might view a missed text message as rejection.
The other might see it as no big deal and assume everything’s fine.
These differing interpretations are often driven by unconscious beliefs, not the actual behavior.
Core beliefs can also affect how we perceive our partner’s intentions. If I believe deep down that I’m not important, I may interpret my partner being late as proof that I don’t matter—even if they were stuck in traffic.
Understanding Core Beliefs Can Strengthen Your Relationship
When you become more aware of your own core beliefs, and take the time to understand your partner’s, you gain powerful tools for:
Building empathy
Reducing conflict and misunderstanding
Strengthening emotional intimacy and connection
Creating a more compassionate and supportive relationship
Final Thoughts
Your core beliefs shape the lens through which you view your partner, your relationship, and even yourself. By becoming more curious about these hidden influences, you open the door to deeper understanding, healthier communication, and greater emotional connection.
Interested in learning more about how core beliefs affect your relationship?
Read more about our counsellors who can help you explore these patterns in a safe, supportive space.